What to Do When Your Ex Does Not Show Up for Scheduled Visitation

Divorce or separation is tough enough, and navigating those challenging emotions is made even more difficult when your ex-spouse fails to honor scheduled visitation times. As a custodial parent, it can be incredibly distressing when your ex silently disappears without a word. However, there are steps you can take to protect yourself and your children. Here are some actionable strategies and legal considerations.

Calling the Police and Documenting the Missed Visit

If your ex-spouse fails to show up for a scheduled visitation, you can contact the police to log it as a missed custody event. This action serves multiple purposes:

It creates a legal trail and provides a paper trail of documentation. It offers a witness to what occurred, which is crucial in any legal proceeding. It highlights that visitation is court-ordered and hence the absence is a violation. It protects you from the possibility of your ex-exaggerating or lying about your presence.

Providing this information to the police ensures that you have a formal record of the event, which can be used in court if necessary. It is always advisable to have a log of all missed visitations, as this can build a more comprehensive case over time.

Contacting the Ex-Spouse

Before taking more drastic measures, try reaching out to your ex-spouse. Having their contact information can be invaluable in these situations. If they have a reasonable excuse, perhaps you can work out a revised pick-up time. However, if they are unavailable or unresponsive, it is important to escalate the situation.

Should you be unable to reach your ex-spouse, immediately call the police. Inform them that your ex-spouse did not pick up their children for the visitation and that this is a missed custody event. This step helps to protect your legal rights and ensures that the court is aware of the situation.

New Relationships and Third Parties

It is not uncommon for a person's new partner to not accept the children or for them to prioritize their partner over the children. This can be heart-wrenching for the custodial parent. If your ex-spouse has a new significant other, communicate with them directly and explain the importance of fulfilling your parental responsibilities. In some cases, if the new partner is involved and tries to prevent visitation, legal action might be necessary.

Keep in mind that if your ex-spouse is still paying child support, this is a factor the court will take into account when making decisions. The court may reduce or even stop child support payments if a parent prevents reasonable visitation.

Documentation and Patience

Documentation is key in these situations. Keep a record of all missed visitations and the steps you have taken to address them. Here are some important points to document:

Note the exact time and location of the scheduled visitation. Document how long you waited, including any phone calls or messages sent. Keep a record of any communication exchanges, including phone messages. Continue to arrive at the pick-up location every time, regardless of whether your ex-spouse is there.

Be patient and persistent. While you cannot force your ex-spouse to spend time with the children, documenting their consistent absences can help build a case. If the situation does not improve after some time, consider requesting another court hearing. Present all your documentation to the judge, and they may consider making a decision on future visitation rights.

By taking these steps, you can protect your legal rights and ensure that the visitation agreement is respected. Remember, the goal is to prioritize the well-being of your children while also maintaining your legal rights as a custodial parent.